I am a Fellow Traveler in the Wonderland called relationships. For many years my relationship life was like a Barbra Streisand song, "The more I live, the more I learn. The more I realise, the less I know." I'm what psychology calls a Hero Child, so I was always relentless in my desire and effort to have the perfect relationship. And, I demanded each partner do the same. Everyone was unhappy. As a Fellow Traveler, I believe coaches and therapists must practice what we guide our clients to do in their lives. Like many, I am in Relational Recovery. I am recovering from what my elders taught me and did not teach me about being relational. Often with the best of intentions, they taught me habits such as focusing vehemently on protecting myself and my needs, to not show emotions or vulnerability. In short, to not be relational. After many intensely complex relationships, I met my husband. And, 15 years ago, we had a profound conversation, and made a concrete decision that there were three entities in our shared life - I, You and Us.  My job is to explore and understand my needs, and his to do the same, first.  Then, we contribute to Us.  It's now been nearly 20 years and we have supported each other through our relationship in endless life challenges. This practice has made us a exponentially better - individually and as a team. Today, people often ask me what has made our relationship so rewarding and powerful. The answer is always the same - a ton of work - to rewrite old relationship patterns, in learning new ways to understand who we are, and skills to deal with everyday life.  Every partnership has or can have their unique way of keeping things alive.  We've agreed to never take each other and what we have built for granted, and to take loving responsibility for the quality of our shared relationship.  In short, harmony, disharmony, repair, repeat.