People often ask me what Relational Life Therapy is, and why I chose to train in it. The short answer: it's the most honest, direct, and practical approach to relationships I've found. It doesn't just help people understand their patterns. It helps them change. Where RLT Comes From Relational Life Therapy (RLT) was developed by Terry Real, a family therapist and author of books including I Don't Want to Talk About It, The New Rules of Marriage, and Us. It is taught through th

Since 2008, first as an Ontological Coach for C-suite executives and now in my work with couples, partners and individuals, conversations about purpose often emerge. I've written mission statements for my own life for as long as I can remember, using many methods along the way. One has stayed with me since my years as a FranklinCovey trainer: Stephen Covey's personal mission statement, from Habit 2 of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, "Begin with the End in Mind." Cove

Here's something that changes how you fight, and how you love: every judgment you make about another person is data about you, not a verdict about them. Any judgment is a story about us. When you say somebody's bad for whatever reason, it's like something inside of you feels that. This gets reinforced later: any judgment that you pass is your opinion, and any judgment that you make outside is some sort of a reflection of what's happening inside — it's just us, it's our life h

7 Primary Feelings: Joy, Pain, Anger, Fear, Shame, Guilt and Love Most of us grew up with a small emotional vocabulary: fine, fine, and fine. Maybe an occasional "angry" or "sad." But underneath those flat words lives a much richer landscape — one that Relational Life Therapy maps into seven primary feelings: Joy, Pain, Anger, Fear, Shame, Guilt, and Love. As a man, growing up I quickly learned I could only express Anger. I felt pain, I expressed anger. I felt shame, I expres

Our Wise Adult is always accessible to us. Post from Relational Life Foundation We all know the moment: your heart starts racing, your jaw tightens, your voice gets sharper or disappears completely. And just like that, your Wise Adult is offline. In Relational Life Therapy (RLT) & Coaching, we understand that when conflict hits, it’s often not you speaking, it’s an old adaptive strategy. The part of you that learned how to survive when you were growing up. That part is not on

One of the most viewed TED talks in history. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, renowned for her work on vulnerability, courage, empathy, and shame. Her TEDxHouston talk, The Power of Vulnerability, delivered in 2010, has become one of the most viewed TED Talks ever, with over 71 million views . Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability In this impactful presentation, Brown shares insights from her extensive research, emphasizing that embracing vu