Books by Terry Real

Terry Real, Creator of Relational Life Coaching & Therapy

Each of Terry Real's books is a world. His books are filled with eye-opening perspectives from over 40 years of work with partners and individuals, proven recommendations, and skills to practice, sustain and expand relational living. I started with US, his latest book, and worked backwards. Choose the one that best responds to your life moment, and go from there. Enjoy!

US: Getting Past You & Me To Build a More Loving Relationship by Terry Real (2022)

Real’s most recent book tackles the divide that often develops between partners and invites couples to shift from a “you vs. me” mindset to a shared “us.” Drawing on neurobiology, relational life therapy, and cultural critique, he argues that individualism and patriarchal norms undermine intimacy. With stories and tools, Real shows how embracing relational consciousness can reignite passion, empathy, and mutual growth.

I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terry Real (1998)

In this groundbreaking book, Terry Real exposes the hidden epidemic of male depression, which often manifests not as sadness but as anger, withdrawal, or addiction. Drawing from clinical experience and personal narrative, Real uncovers how patriarchy and emotional repression isolate men from their feelings and their loved ones. The book is both a wake-up call and a roadmap toward healing, offering men and those who love them a powerful new language for connection and recovery.

How Can I Get Through to You: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women by Terry Real (2003)

This book dives into the emotional disconnection plaguing modern relationships, particularly the silence and withdrawal often seen in men. Real explores how traditional gender roles and societal conditioning damage intimacy and empathy between partners. Through case studies and therapeutic insight, he helps couples reclaim authenticity and vulnerability as the keys to relational repair and deeper connection.

The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work by Terry Real (2008)

Blending psychology with practical relationship strategies, this book lays out a new model of marriage rooted in equality, emotional literacy, and mutual empowerment. Terry Real identifies outdated beliefs that sabotage modern relationships and teaches partners how to speak truth with love, take responsibility, and foster lasting intimacy. It’s a guide for anyone seeking a conscious, thriving partnership.

For all things Terry Real and Relational Life Institute, check out - https://terryreal.com/